My Kind of Town, Odesa Is
I had a feeling that I would like Odesa, but didn't expect to extend my initial week-long stay for at least a month almost immediately upon arriving. But that's more or less what happened. Staying with cool people in a great city where prices are still super affordable (compared with anywhere else in Europe) and the weather is perfect is enough to make even a normal person get creative with their calendar, so for me it was not even a question.
Sunflowers
The flag checks out. If you take the bus from Kyiv to Odesa it's fields of sunflowers for the better part of the circa 500km and 6-7hr trip. Not the bluest of skies the other day, but you can't control the weather.
Also sat on the left hand side to avoid the sun, so didn't get the same spectacular photo opportunities as the people sitting on the right. But this shot is pretty exemplary of what the main road between the two cities looks like. Not Nepal bumpy, but not exactly a smooth ride....
Potemkin Stairs
With apologies to the very lovely opera house and Derybasivska pedestrian street, the Potemkin Stairs are easily the most famous individual tourist attraction in Odesa. If that's ironic or not in the context of the current geopolitical climate is something you'll have to decide for yourself....
NB: This post originally had a photo from both the top and the bottom of the stairs, but since the former includes some port infrastructure in the background, it was preemptively removed in accordance with the old adage of 'better safe than sorry'.
Let's Dance
One industry that doesn't seem to have been affected much by the ongoing conflict here are, ahem, "gentlemen's" clubs - or at least that seems to be the case based on observations made whilst walking around Lviv, Kyiv and Odesa (pictured) the past few weeks....
Phởking Christmas in Phởking July
What's better than finding a local restaurant run by actual Vietnamese people, where a giant bowl of decent Phở is only around €3? Finding a local restaurant run by actual Vietnamese people, where a giant bowl of decent Phở is only around €3 AND it's always Christmas!
NB: Finding good Phở in eastern Eastern Europe is actually quite common, as most major cities seem to have at least a small Vietnamese community, dating back to the olden days of the original Cold War.
Saturday Siesta
Late Saturday afternoon siesta, because that's what weekends are for (and weekdays too, of course). A bag of catnip has been photoshopped out of the shot, so as not to promote recreational drug use amongst any younger, impressionable felines who follow this page.
NB: One thing you immediately notice upon arriving in Odesa from Kyiv is that it's full of cats - as well as people feeding cats (invariably older women), petting cats (invariably those without cat allergies) and taking photos of cats (invariably not locals).
Embassy of Humour
You have to be super careful of what you take photos of here these days, and erring on the side of caution* is obviously the most reasonable option - even if it means missing out on some stunning architecture shots in perfect light, which it often does!
But this might be the only embassy in the country where taking a photo poses little risk of ending in a free trip to a police station.
On a related note, and this is no joke, during Soviet times Odesa was actually known as the capital of humour for the entire USSR. A tradition which apparently continues nowadays, or at least did until 2022, with the annual Humorina festival held around April Fool's Day....
Capturing the Zeitgeist
Say what you want about Woody Allen the person, or even the director for that matter. But his trademark expression really captures the zeitgeist of a lot of people in a lot of places these days. Like Odesa, for instance.
And he's got at least two fans in here - ie the person who originally put this image up on the wall, and the worker who was tasked with painting over graffiti but obviously couldn't bring himself to cover up dear Woody. Probably because he could relate to that expression....
I ⚓ Odesa
There's a lot to love about Odesa, but the very poorly placed city selfie sign is not one of them. This photo was also taken as far back as you can go without climbing over a fence and being in a busy street opposite the main train station, which means portrait orientation is not an option unless you've got a camera with some fancy wide angle lens. Bonus points for incorporating the anchor though....
Hipsterdom Unbound
Ukrainian trees covering themselves in photos of ‘90s style haircuts is the botanical equivalent of Ukrainian hipsters covering themselves with ‘90s style clothing, which is also a very prevalent sight these days, although much more so in Kyiv than elsewhere.
The Perfect Spot
That look on your face when you've finally got comfortable and are just trying to enjoy a little peace and quiet after a long, stressful day at the office, but some boorish fool comes over and rudely gets all up in your bizness....
New v Old Odesa
New and old Odesa. Thankfully you don't see much of the former in the city centre, and still have to go quite a ways outside it to see modern monstrosities like those on the left here.
Give us Soviet-era apartment blocks with foil in half the windows, amazing retro tile work on the façade and shirtless middle aged guys smoking cigarettes on at least 10% of the balconies at any given time, before these sterile western condos....
King and Queen of Hats
When you decide to extend your stay in Odesa indefinitely and are pulling out all the stops to encourage friends to come visit - like offering to pay for flights or wear matching hats - yet receive nothing but eye rolls in response....
Туалет
Early morning sunshine art, aka a public toilet.
NB: In addition to countless tree-lined streets (more on those later), Odesa is full of parks, and most of them have public toilets manned by friendly middle-aged ladies. The admission fee is 4грн, or just under €0.09, and they're officially open from 8am to 8pm - although seem to both open and close a bit earlier.
In other words, Odesa is the perfect city for traipsing around with a beer in hand, which is a bit of a shame if this was previously one of your favourite pastimes whilst travelling, but you're currently not imbibing....
Greatest Show on Earth
If you drop by Curmudgeon HQ tomorrow and no one is around, it's likely because we've taken the whole team down to the old dolphinarium to witness the greatest show on Earth! Matinée performance of course, the hryvnia don't grow on trees around here....
Too Hot
According to statistics (for those who still believe in those things) this is a bigger compliment than it's ever been in the history of the planet. Of course, today is rainy and cool here in Odesa, but everyone has their bad hair days....
Haute Cuisine Française
Odesa had a lot of French influence during its early days in the late 18th and early 19th centuries, and was even briefly a French province in 1918. So it's no surprise that many vestiges of these halcyon times of yore are still visible in the city today. For example, certain unmistakably French culinary delicacies....
Alice
Meet Alice, a 15-year-old originally from Vladivostok, who came here to Wonderland via Belarus around decade ago. Just your typical adorable four-legged Soviet immigrant story....
A Young Mrs Lincoln?
When you're trying really hard not to follow the news - especially as it pertains to the sad circus masquerading as elections in the US - but then you see this on some random street in Odesa earlier today and your very first thought is that it looks like something a young Abraham Lincoln might make sweet sweet love to if he ever got the chance.
Then a couple blocks later, air raid sirens start going off and air defences take out a reconnaissance drone, rattling the part of the city you're in, so the rumours of alleged couch coitus graciously recede from your thoughts for a bit. But obviously only a bit - life goes on and all that....
My Kind of Town, Odesa Is
Bacon Mountain
🇺🇸 Americans: No one loves bacon more than we do!!
🇺🇦 Ukrainians: Hold our kvas....
Sunday Siesta
One of the neighbours thoroughly enjoying his Sunday, while also seamlessly blending in with the natural environment....
Bright on Beach
The Brighton Beach neighbourhood of Brooklyn has long been known as 'Little Odessa', so it only makes sense that the Big Odesa would have its own 'Bright on Beach', right?
NB: Beautiful sunset earlier this evening....
A Fascinating Specimen
When you come across a cat in a park and are concerned that she's got an injured paw. But turns out just to be a nervous tick. Or perhaps someone once tried to teach her how to shake, and she never quite got the hang of it. Either way a fascinating specimen for any aspiring animal psychologists out there....
Ukrainian Macklemore
Find someone who looks at you the way Ukrainian Macklemore looks at Артем Пивоваров*....
*Spent so long trying (and failing) to come up with a good celebrity doppelgänger to include here - because the other guy really looks like Macklemore and that'd be a terrible thing to waste - that I didn't even realise the concert was tonight. Dammit. Time is really flying these days....
Excellent Idea, Questionable Execution
In places where you can't drink the tap water, water refilling machines are great - way less plastic gets thrown into the rubbish* and it's also much cheaper than buying new bottles from shops.
That said, installing a water refilling machine inside a supermarket, rather than outside in the hall of the small shopping centre, makes no sense at all, for multiple reasons....
*Places where you can't drink the tap water also tend to not have very developed recycling schemes.
Missile Defence
For the people who keep enquiring if Odesa is safe these days, please rest assured that the city is protected with state-of-the-art missile defence systems - ie the latest model of GAFNs, or Giant Anthropomorphic Felines with Nets.
And just look at this guy. Not only is nothing getting by him, he's not even breaking a sweat - and it's been a hot, drone-filled summer. Plus, you can tell by the smile on his face that he genuinely enjoys his work! Can't ask for more than that....